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Be ready when the sh*t goes down : a survival guide to the apocalypse

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Thank you for subscribing! Please check your email to confirm your subscription. I'm willing to bet the only people on earth who aren't aware that the fit is hitting the shan on December 21, are those who are already dead. And boy will they be excited when they awake and rise up to join in on the wreaking of havoc. Speaking of which, are you ready to fight in the ultimate war?

Defend your life, your family, your homeland, your planet? You might not win, but in this case, it's not about winning. If you haven't been attending weekly Fight Club sessions since the movie came out in , you're probably going to want to procure some hands-on training to learn to combat the supernatural creatures and Hades-sent chaos that will burst through the seams of our delicate, volatile world come the end of days.

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Both tactical and psychological preparatory work will be necessary to avoid freak outs in the face of putrefying flesh and mouths salivating for brains. We recommend Wish. Know thy enemy. Hold friends close, hold enemies closer. An intimate understanding of the forces we're up against is crucial to our success on the eve of Enemy Detection Equipment.

On the hunt, in the dark, fast asleep--don't let unsavory elements catch you off guard or breach your designated safety zone. Perfect for nighttime operations, and non-pyrotechnic so no one starts a forest fire in the process of saving their asses. Preferably the breathable kind. MacGyver Shit.

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Survival Kits must be turning an Apple product-esque profit this year. Most of them are equal parts portable and F'ing ingenius in their invaluable, compact simplicity. Built into the outside of the case are various other MacGyver-approved tools, such as a knife, compass, and rescue whistle.

A Combative Pimp Suit. And definitely some body armor. Because let's face it, when we go to battle, we're probably gonna take a hit. Or